More Notes to Self

Here are more notes I have made to myself about how to live in America, beyond the ones I have already made:

  • Fruit juice is sometimes concentrated here. Next time, make sure to add water to the concentrated cranberry juice before you drink it.
  • Yes, you have had to deal with three different ZIP codes in three weeks, but the gas pump doesn’t care. You have only three chances to get it right.
  • That person wandering around alone and talking is not deranged. He has a phone in his ear.
  • If you ask where a place is, and someone says, “It’ll come up on your maps,” she’s talking about using a cell phone to find directions.
  • If you call a business with a question, a computer will probably answer. The computer will not understand English. You’ll have to use the internet to get an answer.
  • Don’t worry about which faucet to use for drinking water. Really. The water from all the faucets is safe here.
  • But…the water didn’t come off a metal roof. Remember to get a water filter, or you’ll never get past the taste of the water.
  • The green beans didn’t just come out of someone’s garden yesterday. You’d better eat them within a couple of days, or they will go bad.
  • Some things don’t change. No matter where you go in the world, printers are brats.
  • You got a little sunburned here, but never in the tropics. Yes, the mystery annoys you, but it doesn’t matter. Put some sun screen on until you build a base tan.
  • Americans automatically give you paper receipts for everything. Don’t ponder why. Just let them do it.
  • Remember, this place is normal for the people who live here.

(Photo by Pexels)

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4 Responses

  1. I enjoy these “Notes” … they bring home how whackadoodle our country can be! Seriously, you and Debbie are heroes, the way you transition between the two cultures.

  2. Sue Schram says:

    I enjoy your notes Steve. I agree with Janice. It takes a lot of effort to go from one country to another. Your sense of humor is a gift 😊

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